When we feel secure and confident in our jobs, it feels easy to offer congratulations to coworkers who receive promotions or shout-outs in team meetings. But, other times, jealousy can creep in, and lead us to question our own dreams and talents as we fall into the comparison trap. Here’s how to work through those emotions.

Key Takeaways
1. First, acknowledge your feelings.

True envy is destructive, particularly when you are in denial about it, says Tanya Menon, a management professor at Ohio State University’s business school. In these instances, you try to sabotage a colleague’s success, or refuse to collaborate. “We say, ‘No, I’m feeling just fine. But I’m going to attack the other person in all kinds of pernicious ways,’” Ms. Menon says. The trick is to remember that success isn’t a scarce resource, and to let the feelings fuel you to up your own game.

2. Consider having an honest conversation with your manager. 

When a new employee joined Deanna Hutchison’s team at BBG, a Cleveland-based benefits brokerage, she was relieved to have help with an onerous workload, but also “anxious about the fact that she might be better than me.” Ms. Hutchinson approached her boss and confessed her worries. Talking it through and getting reassurance from him that the company still valued and needed her did help. Ms. Hutchinson has been able to realize that the new colleague’s proposals have helped her work. 

3. Keep a ‘brag file’ and document your wins each week.

Jealousy can prompt workers to throw out passive-aggressive barbs or even avoid meetings where they feel intimidated. Such moves can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, which then hurt employees’ promotion prospects, says Melody Wilding, author of “Trust Yourself,” a book about navigating emotions at work. She recommends workers keep a “brag file” where they document their wins each week. “You are the one hyping yourself up,” Ms. Wilding says, “not just being dependent on other people to recognize you and tell you you’re great.”

4. Rethink your habits.

Rand Fishkin, CEO of SparkToro, a Seattle-based market-research software company, recommends people evaluate what they read and consume online, and even some of the friends and colleagues they hang out with. If the interactions are more hurtful than helpful, unfollow or add a little distance.

Read the original article by Rachel Feintzeig here.