At first it was just big gatherings — the conferences and festivals and concerts. Then the screws tightened bit by bit. No groups of more than 500. No groups of more than 100. Then 50 and 10, until suddenly you weren’t even supposed to hug a friend you found crying on the street.
Nearly overnight, the novel coronavirus has transformed everything about the way people in the Bay Area interact. Almost as quickly, those living under stay-at-home orders here and beyond have found new ways to provide some semblance of normalcy. There may be no physical contact, but there’s a lot of on-line living going on.
At any given time, Edna Zhou has about 10 to 15 open chats on some combination of Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp. She’s started a virtual book club with friends, too. They’re reading “The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat” by Oliver Sacks, and this Saturday, they’ll meet on Zoom or through FaceTime to break it all down.
“I’m in a weird place. It’s a weird time,” she said. But all this helps. “I’m very extroverted, and I constantly need to be in touch with people.”
There are reports that the internet is already sagging under the weight of people working from home. Now, too, there are all the extracurriculars.
Lee Edwards had planned to go to dinner with his girlfriend to celebrate his 36th birthday. The restaurant canceled the reservations, so they threw a party at home, about 30 people attended — all online, over video chat.
“I told everyone it was BYOB,” Edwards said. He’s into wine, though, so he and his girlfriend drank a bottle of California sparkling wine. “There was a White Claw. Someone was drinking red, they didn’t know what (kind) it was. A friend in the wine industry was drinking a natural wine.”
His girlfriend made him a key lime pie (his favorite), and they clipped a standard-size candle to make it birthday pie-size. The guests sang into their monitors, and then he cut a slice. “It was weird — I was like, ‘You can watch me eat.’”
People drink with their computers a lot now that the bars are closed. Friends and coworkers pour their cocktail of choice and then pull up to their kitchen tables for virtual happy hours. It might not be the same as gathering at the neighborhood dive, but it’s better than nothing. And if people need some help on what to mix, bartenders are ready to go.
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A couple months ago, after years of trying, Gillian Fitzgerald opened her own bar in San Francisco’s Mission District. Casements was a new spin on an Irish pub, and last weekend was supposed to be a celebration of St. Patrick’s Day. Instead, she closed the bar — two days before the Bay Area order to shelter in place.
Now, while Fitzgerald waits to reopen, every morning around 11:30, she goes live on Instagram and shows whoever tunes in how to make a simple cocktail with the odds and ends most people have on hand. On Wednesday, she shook up a Bloody Mary.
“You make something that people can replicate at home,” she said. “It’s a way to check in with my friend groups, both here and in Ireland. A way for us to have a sense of community.”
As the days of isolation stretch on, more people are turning to Zoom or Twitch or Whatsapp or Discord or Facetime to do the things they’ve always done in person. DJs have gone live with hours-long sets. Drag queens, too, and viewers can tip through Venmo or Cashapp. People have advertised digital-only raves on Instagram.
On April 3, Kelly Navarro is throwing “Quarantined, a Live-Stream Showcase.” The idea started as a burlesque show — she and friend are planning to perform — but she’s since signed up two DJs and a couple live-music acts. She has a digital bartender on hand, too.
“People are going to be home. They’re going to be bored. They’re going to be watching Netflix,” Navarro said. “Might as well give them something else to keep them entertained.”
The event went up on Facebook Friday and by the afternoon at least 50 people were either “going” (in the new sense of the word) or were interested. “A lot of my friends were like ‘I don’t know what I have to offer, but I’m definitely excited to watch this happen.’”
Workout and yoga instructors have also shifted to online audiences.
Within a 48-hour period, Shane Barnard, the CEO of UrbanKick, found herself completely without work. Corporate clients dried up first. Then all the gyms closed.
“I took a couple days to get my feet under me,” she said. Then she started testing the waters. “Would you want live virtual classes?” she asked. “The response was incredible.”
Barnard held her first class at noon on Wednesday and 88 people tuned in. She wasn’t charging, but people donated more than she ever expected they would. She says they told her: “You’re helping keep me sane during this crazy time.” She led another class Thursday and 80 people showed up. On Saturday, the class hit 100. After each of the classes, people stayed online to chat. “People can go on YouTube and get 1,000 different classes about how to work out, but what is special about the live classes is you literally see other people working out with you,” Barnard says. “That sense of connection is the most powerful thing.”
That the digital togetherness could even remotely stand in for the real thing, the in-person togetherness we often take for granted, is something of a welcome surprise. Though maybe it shouldn’t be — the voices and the sentiments are as real as ever.
There’s something else new, too. Again and again, people spoke about reconnecting with others. Edwards invited friends from Boston, New York and Florida — even his mom — to his birthday party. Navarro has performers tuning in from other states. Barnard has been back in touch with a friend in Illinois. And Zhou has been starting conversations with people that she usually communicates with through the occasional “Like.” Solitude has made her feel less reserved.
“It doesn’t feel hollow at all,” she says. “It feels necessary.”
San Francisco Chronicle staff writer Sarah Feldberg contributed to this report.
Ryan Kost is a San Francisco Chronicle staff writer. Email: rkost@sfchronicle.com Twitter: @RyanKost
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Coronavirus: While at home, many in Bay Area find expanded connections online - San Francisco Chronicle
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